To My IT Loves On Valentine's Day

To my many loves in IT, my gifts to you:

To Oracle, my gift is submission. You are the Dominatrix of IT. Yes please, may I have another.

To Microsoft, my gift is patience. Version 3.0 of my gift will kick ass.

To VMware, my gift is complex and enduring. Like your licensing.

To IBM, my gift is boring, but stunningly profitable.

To HP, my gift is wine. God knows that French guy probably took all the good stuff with him.

To EMC/Data Domain, my gift is a duplicate of the one I gave HP. Only you can't drink yours.

To HDS, my gift was BlueArc.

To NetApp, my gift is never having to go to Pittsburgh. Or Wichita. Again.

To RSA, my gift is a lifetime supply of Chinese fortune cookies. (I know the Chinese hacked RSA, though no one will admit it).

To Symantec, my gift is not having to eat a lifetime supply of Chinese fortune cookies. (Huawei who?)

To Dell, my gift is turkey buzzard jerky. It will never hit your dock and only be on your inventory for .5 seconds.

To VCE, my gift is a forklift. To carry a vBlock in, and a pallet of money out.

To Cisco, my gift is a buck. Not much, but about 23% more switch gross profit to HP.

To Compellent, my gift is a trip back to Minnesota.

To Fusion-io, my gift is a bolt of lightning.

To Cloudera, my gift is an enormous single point of failure.

To the Greeks, my gift is a drachma. Remember those?

To Justin Bieber, my gift is thanks. The kid really is hard to hate. (Not his music - I'm fine hating that, but he is a good human).

To Gartner, my gift is a sprinkling of common sense. $45B cloud market in 2015 - really???

To Apple, my gift is something you already have - all of my money.

To every poor bastard trying to keep the lights on in IT, you have my undying respect.

Happy Valentine's Day!

You can read Steve's other blog entries at The Bigger Truth.

Topics: IT Infrastructure